Saturday, April 10, 2010 at11:56 AM
let me post something emo here
as i said in the last post,
i have a lot of difficulties in relationships this days :)
i've overcome it. he choose to leave.
great.
i think so many times and i still dont understand
why he choose that girl instead of me
really funny.. i still think i dont deserve this shit anyway
bla bla bla ! @$^&%*%$^
i got feelings okays? dont said i dont cried or shit
i did cried, cried for fucking two days
sleep cry sleep cry what-the-fuck?
i wont cry when i was on the fone
but right after i hang up the fone i cried like hell
i even cry through the fone when i phone peisi
funny shit right?
the conclusion is i didnt cut my wrist
like i used to before. 2 days, i realised
there's still many out there waiting for me
why i have to sad or cried or anything shit bout it?
i dont deserve this so i chose to forget and forgive.
you all might think i am crazy that i can forgive
but let' me tell you something
being friends is always better than being enemy
ohh and i did tell him that i want him to regret one day !
and i repeat HE WILL REGRET.
seriously, i change so much.. put so much effort in this relationship
just to maintain this relationship but everything was bullshit
things i've done throughout 2 fucking lies month
1) when he's sick i bought 100 plus and also liang teh for him
2) almost everynight i brought him dinner
3) we called everyday more than 10times and i can said more than that.
4) when he have trouble in the company, i tried to help
5) i'm not 18 so i dont have car yet i still find car for him to drive
6) we dont argue which i really tried my best but we did argue bout the bitch ( his girlfriend now )
7) injuries that because of him.
and alot alot alot alot more.
2 months and i did so much thing
at the end i get is BULLSHIT OF ALL THE BULLSHIT
i told my friends we're not together anymore,
and even his friends but they seem like dont believe
so i've made my decision,
i would go for someone who love me more than i love them
but ofcourse times proved everything
when i really realize that guy who really love me
i would tried my best as well to put effort to love him
get what i mean ?
if he's reading my blog now,
i dont effing care and i want you to know
without you i still can live still can fish the other male-mermaids in the ocean
i'll show you i am alright and i am fine without you and i dont need you
we're still friends maybe but we're not as close as last time anymore. :)
i shall sleep now and stop thinking and move on with my life
i know my life will be really good without you here
sign off,
Melinda
2.56am
